Why am I such a cold person

Why do people get cold - what you need to know about feeling cold

How is cold feeling created

In early childhood, our brain evolves from all the information flowing into it. In this early part of our existence, emotional impulses are used to lay the foundations that are responsible for our later behavior.

This finding suggests that this is the reason why people get cold. Why do people get cold? We will deal with the various reasons below.

Why are people feeling cold?

  • People never learned to deal with feelings or closeness in their childhood.
  • A traumatic event made her unlearn it again.
  • In the course of life, several events help set a creeping process in motion.

The two central backgrounds are therefore: Either those affected did not learn how to deal with emotional closeness as a child, or how to deal with emotionality as such, or traumatic experiences erased the ability that they once had.

This is usually less of a problem for those suffering from emotional cold than for their social environment. Close relatives in particular, such as the life partner, have a difficult time dealing with the problem.

On the other hand, emotionally cold people also have their own burden: It is very difficult for them to put themselves in the shoes of others.

A challenge for relatives:

  • The relatives should practice a lot of tolerance
  • Consideration is paramount
  • Patience is just as much a part of dealing as
  • open and positive communication

Emotional cold

Studies show that around 10 percent of the German population is affected by the phenomenon. Interestingly, men more often than women. Why is that?

Is it because of the other emotionality that men usually display? Is it because men are supposedly more rational than women. Is it because men are challenged too much in everyday work?

Lots of questions, but no final answers yet. Let us therefore take another look at the emotional life of those affected.

People can get cold - on the outside and inside

Those affected by emotional coldness not only show the characteristics already mentioned, such as the severely limited ability to show affection or to talk about their feelings. In their emotional world, a leveling of emotions can often be seen:

On the one hand, they do not tend to exuberant joy, on the other hand, emotions such as great anger or abysmal sadness are alien to them.

But their perception also seems to be clouded. It is natural for people to perceive the feelings and moods of the other through the facial expressions of their counterpart, via the channel of non-verbal communication, and to adjust their behavior accordingly.

Unfortunately, this is difficult for those affected and you can easily imagine the consequences this can have for a conversation - perhaps even for a personal conversation.

Cold people - are not numb

In more severe cases, those affected have feelings such as fear or joy, but do not recognize these feelings as such. As you know from your own experience, feelings are linked to physical symptoms. This means that every psychic impulse has a somatic correlate.

If you are afraid, your pulse will skyrocket, if you are excited you will feel a tingling stomach. In more severe cases of cold feeling, these physical signs are misinterpreted because the person concerned has no access to the psychological correlate of the physical expression.

In this way, wrong interpretations of the personal current situation arise.

Mental Intelligence and Emotional Intelligence

A healthy emotional intelligence can only develop if there is a normal perception of one's own emotional world. It leads to an understanding of the feelings and emotions of others and is therefore the basis for a smooth coexistence with society and especially within the family. You can see the potential danger here.

People who are unable to recognize their own feelings find it difficult to interact on the interpersonal level because they are unable to meet the expectations and desires of their environment and they cannot respond to them, or only to a very limited extent.

It is obvious that this is where the partnership is most directly affected. The tension between cool logic and romantic feelings is obvious.

Cold not from the start

Nobody was born with that. The problems can start in early childhood. In the crucial phases of early childhood, in which love, closeness and recognition play the central role in the development of a healthy psyche, negative experiences lead to a disorder that can be reflected in later life in the form of emotional coldness.

Few emotional, factual parents, excessive strictness in upbringing, an unapproachable father, all of this has a formative influence. While we are talking about a process here, one reason why people get cold can also be found in an acute, traumatic experience.

Here the emotional life is so strongly attacked by a shock that healthy emotional perception is forgotten. The cooling down of feelings through a traumatic experience is to be seen as a protective function of the psyche, which tries to differentiate itself from further injuries.

Can coldness of feeling be curable?

The area, which has not yet been adequately researched, does not allow any reliable statement to be made as to whether and to what extent an improvement can be achieved through therapeutic intervention.

Therapy can bring about an improvement - however, it is still unclear whether the emotional experience of the person concerned was really intensified. But also the relatives should be given urgent attention. Education is the top priority here.

Only a well-informed partner is able to get along with someone who has changed so much. Here, the awareness must be awakened that the partner's lack of emotionality should not be taken personally.

Enlightenment helps to clear up misunderstandings and create understanding in the first step. This is especially true in a partnership with children. They are the first to suffer and must be saved from a similar fate being instituted for them.

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