Is your life happy

Are you happy with your life?

Happy with your life through non-violent communication


How does it look, are you happy with your life? Or do you think your life could be better? Do you have no ideas how you can tackle it yourself so that something changes? Or do you even think that you can't?

I tell you, yes, you can do something yourself to feel better and to be happier. Because only when you are satisfied with yourself and your life can you get one good leader be a role model for your employees or colleagues. If you are not at peace with yourself, you radiate that too and are more of a plaything for others.


Guess what you got

Yeah, I know you've probably heard that before. Still, I like to repeat: one of the important steps is to appreciate what you have. These are often the things in life that we take for granted.

This will help you to be happy with your life. For example, our health is extremely important and many do not appreciate the fact that they are healthy, have all of their senses, all of their extremities ...

Who do you love and who loves you? How about the roof over your head, the family, the friends. Do you appreciate them? When you become aware of what is beautiful in your life, also say “Thank you!”. Thank you for being the way you are, I say to my friend regularly. I don't love him because he brings me flowers or makes breakfast. That's just an expression of his personality. I love him, among other things, because he is attentive and caring.


Love yourself- strengths and weaknesses

Do you love yourself Does that sound strange now? But can you love yourself with all your strengths and weaknesses? Everyone is particularly good at things and others are not. This is normal and you can see whether you simply accept your weaknesses and leave them as they are. Or you decide that you want to work on it.

In my job as a coach, I make sure that the focus is not on the skills, but on the personality. We get recognition for what we do, for our performance such as overtime, contracts etc. But appreciation revolves around the way we are: open, honest, humorous and the like.

Before going to bed, you can go over the day again and appreciate what you've done. It then comes down to your personality. “I appreciate that I was hardworking and completing my to-do list. I was helpful and supported my colleague and because relaxation is important to me, I had myself massaged (or something like that). ”This also helps you to be happy with your life.


Love yourself- dealing with your feelings

Among other things, non-violent communication helps you to recognize that it is normal for us to feel angry or helpless, angry or overwhelmed. That is part of life. Feelings should be allowed. Constantly suppressing it would be bad and can even lead to physical discomfort.

The question is always how do you deal with it and what do you do about it if something does not go as you want it to? It is always a shame when your feelings deprive you of too much energy over a longer period of time. (You can find more about this in the link list below).


Pay attention to your needs

You want to be happy in your life. Then also look at your needs and whether they are met. The third step in nonviolent communication is about the Needs that guide us in life. I am a fan of this method and use it in my seminars and in coaching. This is also because you can achieve a lot with it.

Even if you are not interested in communication, this step on the needs can help you become happier in life.


Meeting needs in three steps

How does it work now that you meet your needs? Take a look around your life: what is particularly important to you? What are these needs?

Needs are general, independent of place, time and people, such as cooperation, structure or freedom. How you fulfill them is more likely to be called strategies, i.e. ways to meet needs. To relax I can read a book, go for a walk or do yoga. These are different strategies that meet a common need.

Let's get back to you.


1. Reflecting on your own needs

Which needs are important to you that are currently not being met? Is it support, rather respect or appreciation? Sensitize yourself to it and reflect. For example, when do you get angry, what are you missing? When are you sad or disappointed? When are you particularly happy?


2. Analysis in the main categories

The second step is that you look at how it behaves in the categories of work, private life and "myself". Feel free to draw three glasses and enter percentages: how high is the fill level?

1. How much support do you get in the work context (colleagues, employees, superiors, HR department, works council)? Draw it in.

2. How much support do you get in your private environment (family, friends, acquaintances)? Enter your percentage here as well.

3. How much support do you get from yourself? Put a number on the glass.

Now you have analyzed what it looks like in the individual categories.


3. Actively approach change

What now? In the third step, you now have a look at what you can actually change in the three categories. In doing so, you first focus on the need that is least fulfilled.

To do this, take your drawing with the three glasses and write down your ideas for each category. What can you do to get more support in the work context? Make this as specific as possible. So don't just write down that your colleague could help you more. What could she help you with?

The same applies to the other two points.

What could someone in the Freundeskreis support you with?

And how can you help yourself more?

Maybe you are very critical and Your inner critic is strong pronounced? Then you will probably get in your own way more often, because your high demands mean that you need a very long time and in the end you are still not satisfied with you and your performance.

When you are done with it, implement the whole thing, seek the conversations and initiate the change yourself!

So these are some tips for getting happy and being happy. If you would like more about this and on the subject of communication, get in touch gladly for my newsletter at.


Related Links:



Nonviolent Communication