Why does questioning satisfy people

The darn "first time"

Boys and young men in particular often ask us what they have to consider the "first time". Therefore we have put together a few basic rules in the form of questions and answers:

QUESTION: I want to sleep with my girlfriend soon and don't know how to go about it - what to do, what to watch out for and what she likes?

ANSWER: Well, you have to find out for yourself if and What and how you when want. Because people are all different - including girls (and boys ...). Just remember: tenderness is half the battle ...

QUESTION: Can you also give me information about French kisses?

ANSWER: The best thing to do is to try it out for yourself (like we all do). You can't really do anything wrong, but after some experience it will work better than at the beginning (like everything, by the way ...) - Just a brief explanation: "French kiss" means sticking the tongue in each other's mouth and stirring it around suck. Sounds like a mess, but people of a certain age think it's great.

QUESTION: I have a lot of quirks - is that normal?

ANSWER: Yes. The "first time" is problematic for many guys: very high expectations -> pressure to perform -> fear of failure -> "self-fulfilling prophecy" = vicious circle in which exactly that happens can. Though that didn't even happen got to. Because: nothing is as important in sex as taking your time, not putting yourself under pressure, not seeing the whole thing as a competitive sport, but as a pleasurable game.

A piece of advice: don't do anything you don't want or don't want yet. But don't be afraid of experiments, trying things out, curiosity, or playful voyages of discovery. And: Don't risk an unwanted pregnancy! Against that there is Condoms (Not always safe as a form of contraception, but good protection against infections, e.g. with the AIDS-causing virus HIV) - and the pill!

QUESTION: What do I have to pay attention to?

ANSWER: That you don't do anything that you both - yourself and your girlfriend - don't want. your have to do nothing, but you do canif you both wantto do (almost) everything - just don't risk an unwanted pregnancy! You have to protect your girlfriend from a possible pregnancy: with a condom! Above all, you should be tender and give yourself and yourself time! Not just at yours Think lust, but make sure that your girlfriend is too your Can develop lust and enjoy. Women need a longer "start-up period"!

QUESTION: Is it advisable to masturbate yourself beforehand, or does the penis then no longer stiffen as quickly or does it no longer result in ejaculation?

ANSWER: You don't need to satisfy yourself beforehand - just wait and see how "it" develops! However: your penis will probably become stiff again, although it differs very much from man to man. And you will probably produce seeds again after a while - but it is also very different. - Otherwise: Satisfying yourself is basically nice and also important because you get to know your own body better that way. We sexologists say:
"Nobody can have nice sex with another person who cannot also enjoy nice sex with himself!"
And not only as a second-rate "substitute" or out of youthful "emergency horniness", but fundamentally and for life, also in a relationship.

QUESTION: As a boy, does one shave somewhere in the genital area, for example on the penis or buttocks?

ANSWER: That got to nobody do. But some do it because they like it. There is nothing to be said against it - it's a matter of taste.

QUESTION: Is a girl able to sleep with a boy at any time (e.g. also during her period)?

ANSWER: Basically yes. However, many men and women don't do it during their period - for aesthetic reasons.

QUESTION: How long does an orgasm usually last?

ANSWER: Very differently - sometimes this way and sometimes that, longer with one than the other. When it comes to human sexualities, there is much more variety and diversity than people often believe (take a look at the basic information on our website -> Sexual Research!). Only: men have a different arousal and orgasm than women (it takes longer for them to get there, women can "come" several times in succession). exercise = Experience brings it there too!

QUESTION: Do you have to come with the girl or the woman at the same time because my penis relaxes again immediately after the orgasm?

ANSWER: No, you don't have to. With us men it almost always goes limp again immediately after the orgasm, but can often become stiff again after a pause of varying lengths. "Coming at the same time" usually only works after a few years of practice, but it is not that important at all. It is important that women are excited and satisfied, especially on the clitoris - with their hands and / or with their mouths / tongue - the penis alone is often not enough. It is particularly important to pay attention to the feelings and their physical expressions in your partner - and to adapt your own pace to her.

And now: have fun! But never forget:

Sex not only has to do with lust, but also with feelings, with tenderness, with consideration and with responsibility!