Husbands wear lingerie

My new boyfriend likes to dress in lingerie!

Q: My new boyfriend told me that he sometimes likes to dress up in lingerie for women and he wants to share this with me as part of our sex life. I am not sure I can handle this. It doesn't seem masculine and I am not attracted to women. What if i don't like it What if I'm not drawn to him afterward? I am scared. What should I do?

A: First of all, you should know that there is a difference between a man who occasionally dresses in underwear because he finds it funny and erotic and a man who does it because he feels he was born female or because he does fetishizes these objects.

When deciding whether or not to stay in this relationship, it is your job to determine what type of man he is and whether you are acceptable to you.

A lot of people try other identities in the bedroom. This is a perfectly normal part of lovemaking. Men dream of indulging their feminine side, while women dream of being the aggressor. This can include wearing costume or clothing normally associated with the opposite sex. It's all part of the fun and excitement.

If your boyfriend wears lingerie occasionally because he has an active fantasy life and can express it comfortably, you could have a fun and exciting time. He can be a wonderful lover who is comfortable with many types of sex.

So if you really care about this man, you could make a fuss. There's a good chance some part of you are trying some variety despite your fears. If so, go ahead.

Try not to be afraid of your own sexual arousal. You may be prevented from waking up to something extraordinary by your own conflict. Some women - and men - believe that any sex that is not done in missionary work is fake or scary.

But there are some men for whom an interest in lingerie is more intense. It could be a manifestation of his longing for a woman or his belief that he is a woman trapped in a man's body.

For example, if your friend continued down the path - he would always wear women's clothes, grow breasts, and increasingly live in the world as a woman - then he is likely a transgender.

Another possibility is that he has a fetish. Some people are excited about something, like lingerie or shoes, and cannot get aroused without the object. The need for this element can hinder a more diverse sexual relationship.

At this point, your boyfriend may not reveal the full extent of his sexual secrets to you. For example, he might tell you that he “only occasionally” wears lingerie when testing the waters to see if you might accept more extreme behavior.

If his requests really put you off, or they escalate to where you are, you need to ask yourself whether you feel deeply enough about him to continue the relationship.

Be open-minded, but don't force yourself to experiment. Yes, there is a risk that you will not be drawn to him if you share his fantasy. Like many other factors that undermine a relationship, he may not be right for you.