How common is it not to hate anyone

How to get rid of the feeling that nobody likes you

What is said here is called fear defense.
We are - allegedly - all to blame!

https://www.deutschlandfunkkultur.de/falsche-volksweisheit-ist-jeder-seines-glueckes-schmied.1005.de.html?dram:article_id=311364

For this, the law of resonance is used, as it were. If you are in a good mood and radiate that outward, then you will increasingly meet people who suit you and are also in a good mood.
It's like buying red shoes. Before you never thought of having red shoes on others, if you have some yourself, you suddenly see people with red shoes everywhere.

But you don't attract these people or meet them more often than before, the focus is just different and you subconsciously pay more attention to it. So what you can achieve with your own good mood, that you “only see people in a good mood”.

I think this kitchen psychology really sucks, I have to say, it suggests that it is your own fault if it doesn't work.

Where I agree, however, is the point of view and that you can change it.
I thought directly of The Work and only later saw that Byron Katie was mentioned on the book cover. I agree here.

BUT…
I am now 43, a single parent and I no longer accept the rejection of others as best I can.
I am good the way I am!
Nevertheless, I am a lonely person and despite all the self-love and satisfaction something is missing and that is a different person who accepts me as I am and gives me his love.
I haven't found it yet and that's not just because of me or a wrong self-image or a lack of self-love or self-esteem.

Mr. Wagner, something has changed in your life, something good has happened to you all of a sudden, you now have a partner again and you can say quite frankly what came first: the complete satisfaction and feeling of happiness and then the partner came up as the icing on the cake on it or wasn't it after all, as I suspect, the "help" or support from outside that other people have helped them from outside, encouraged them, maybe even gave them their love?

Have you cured yourself completely by yourself and have become such a happy and satisfied person, going through life alone with self-love and in a good mood with confidence or were there not also external factors?

Everywhere you read again and again that you are responsible for yourself and if you only do everything right, then everything turns out for the better.
You know, I know people who have lived a great life, then a tragic fate befell them, sometimes several blows in a row. First the child dies, then the partner takes his own life and then you get cancer yourself. Yes, that's an extreme example, but are you trying to tell someone that it's all up to them to think positively and love themselves?
People need people!
And it is not a matter of course that you will find someone who accepts, respects, values, supports and loves you unconditionally!

And of course you can contribute a lot by going through the world in a good mood and satisfied with yourself, but that's not all!
It also takes a bit of luck to meet someone who just likes and loves you for who you are.
That is anything but self-evident and it is anything other than that it is only up to you to make yourself “lovable”.
Because making yourself "lovable" - and nothing else is propagated here and in countless other places:
Love yourself, shine outwards, only then will the others love you too / can the others love you too - has nothing to do with love in itself.

somewhere up there was something about Jesus and so on.
I am not a believer, but I like the story of Jesus and of course I know you.
Do you know who Jesus loved and who is therefore so venerated?

The poor and crippled, the “not lovable” !!!
Those who have nothing to throw in the balance, those who are unloved like the customs officer mentioned above.

And there is a lack of such people!
Because we add everything up, E. Fromm wrote that in his art of loving.

I wish that there would be more honest and differentiated reports in all of these blogs.
It is not only up to you that you are loved, you also have to be lucky enough to find someone who loves you unconditionally and not just because I love myself and run through the world beaming with joy.

I had just such an experience: The moment when I felt bad and I revealed myself and asked for help, affection and love, I was left!

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