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Online dating from a Christian perspective

Sabine reports on her experiences with a Christian dating site

The prejudice that online dating is only for people who “don't get anywhere else” is long out of date. In 2017, finding a partner online is simply one of many ways to find a partner. There are now countless platforms for online dating that are both free and paid and are often geared towards the needs of the respective target group. Elitepartner is aimed at “academics and singles with a high level”, Parship wants “every 11 minutes a single” to fall in love on their portal.

"There are hardly any Christian singles among the early thirties at parties."

SABINE (30)
found her partner via the online portal CPD

Sabine (30) from near Heidelberg also wanted a partner and saw an opportunity in online dating. The specialty: Sabine is a Christian and it was especially important to her that her potential partner shares her Christian faith. For this reason, too, she has registered with the CPD, the “Christian Partnership Service”, a dating service that is specifically aimed at Christians. Sabine's story is a success story. She has found her dream partner. Today we meet for a cup of tea in Sabine's hometown Hemsbach. She smiles and tells me about her experiences.

Sabine, although I'm also a Christian, I didn't know that there were Christian dating sites on the Internet. Tell me, how did you find out about this?

Sabine: I have some Christian friends who got to know someone through such a portal. So I already knew that there are online dating sites that are specifically aimed at Christians. But I hesitated for a long time to register there because I just didn't know whether it was the right thing for me.

Somehow the stigma still hangs on the subject of online dating: In real life, you won't get any of them anyway. In the end, I was encouraged by my work colleagues during my commercial training to give online dating a try.

My colleagues knew that it was very important to me that my potential partner shares my Christian faith. I myself am a believing Christian and for my relationship I want faith and the sharing of related common values ​​as a common basis.

Well, and then these colleagues simply gave me money to register for the Christian Partnership Service at the end of my training. The admission fee, which also includes 20 partner suggestions, currently costs 360 euros. The CPD is aimed at German-speaking Christians in Germany, Austria and Switzerland.

“You don't need to
first find out
whether the potential partner
is also a believer and can be
directly to other aspects
of getting to know each other
focus."

Wow, your personal happiness was very important to them.

Sabine: We just talked a lot about the subject. Especially among Christians, it becomes more and more difficult to find a partner with increasing age. Many couples here still tend to marry very early and start a family. There are hardly any Christian singles at parties in their early thirties. This may also be due to the fact that, in my experience, the family still has a higher status among Christians than in the non-Christian area, but these are of course pure conjecture.

Are there any particular differences between Christian and non-Christian online dating? Or does that simply mean that everyone who registers there are Christians and you can save yourself the crucial question?

Sabine: Basically yes. You don't even have to find out whether the potential partner is also a believer and you can concentrate directly on other aspects of getting to know each other. This has not been a problem for me in the past, but I just wanted to eliminate this hurdle in the conversation about faith from the start. The Christian Partnership Service then works in such a way that you receive 20 suggestions directly, which were selected on the basis of certain interests. For that you pay the 360 ​​euros.

In addition, the suggestions are based on the personal ideas of the potential partner, about which information is given in his profile. When searching for yourself, it can happen that someone might not fit at all, and in my opinion the suggestions make it a bit more binding and the selection gets more depth. Basically, it works in a similar way to Parship, where you receive partnership proposals based on your own self-assessment.

The basic data requested at the CPD include, for example, the year of birth, height, stature, the first two digits of the postcode, Christian community membership, marital status and occupation, as well as a personal note from the person looking for a partner, if desired. Quite normal questions actually. Only that the CPD is a Christian partnership service.

"Personally, I estimate the proportion of those who only want one thing to be higher on non-Christian portals in principle."

Although online dating is one of many forms of dating today, there are also risks behind it. Be it that people don't take it seriously or are just out for quick sex. Do you think that these risks also exist in the Christian platforms?

Sabine: Of course, there are a number of risks involved in online dating. For this reason, it was very important for me to register with a portal that is chargeable. From my point of view, this increases the seriousness. Apart from that, I personally estimate the proportion of those who only want one thing to be higher on non-Christian portals.

But I also believe that there can be people in Christian dating sites who are not really serious. My personal experience at CPD is that most people there have serious intentions and are interested in a stable relationship.

Your story is a success story. Did you have any experience with online dating before you registered with the CPD?

Sabine: No, it was my first time choosing to date online. True to the motto: I'll just give it a try. And it worked. (laughs)
What happened after the registration?

Sabine: The suggestions made me aware of my current partner pretty quickly. At first we just emailed and quickly realized that we'd like to talk to each other on the phone. Already on the first phone call I noticed that we can just be pretty relaxed and relaxed with each other. From my point of view, this is worth a lot, especially because with online dating you tend to quickly clarify the entire future, including weddings and children.

We first talked about our hobbies and interests and thus got to know each other in a relatively relaxed manner. Over time I felt that he responds very well to me, but also always gives new impulses for the conversations. After about half a year we met for the first time.

How did you notice that it also fits in "real life"?

Sabine: I never had the feeling that I had to pretend that I could just be myself. Since he lives in Austria, the great distance is a bit of an obstacle at the moment, because you can't see each other that often.

But on the other hand, you also see a great advantage of online dating: how else should I have known that there is a nice young Christian living in Austria who suits me so well. For example, we both love playing board games. When he met my parents for the first time, he beat my father right away while playing. That made an impression. (laughs)

Finally, a few tips. Based on your own experiences, what advice would you give other people looking for a partner online?

Sabine: In my opinion, a great advantage of online dating is that you can be sure relatively quickly whether the other person is really interested in a relationship. Of course, you don't know whether it will turn into great love one day. But if you develop feelings for someone from the clique, for example, you often don't know immediately whether they are really mutual.

A very important piece of advice from my point of view and my own experience is to take a relaxed approach to the matter and not to have the imminent wedding in mind. That builds up unnecessary pressure. It is better to try to stay relaxed and simply see online dating as one of many opportunities to meet new people. And if the dream prince is actually there, so much the better.

Thank you for the interview and all the best for both of you!